Bleeding Hearts

As a woman I am battered and worn beyond repair; tattered and torn

Between a love I lost and a demanding despair that
engulfs me as stainless steel shines bright in white lights.

The man in the pale lab coat asks if I’m sure.

I silently sign, yes, too far gone to decline, too empty to reassure

Myself.

I pretend you are here with me,

Holding my hand and giving me your name.

But you aren’t. Even now, though, I still can’t find the will to blame

You. Unaware of my indecision when I asked “What do I do?”

You said, “I’m not ready for this. But it is up to you,”

‘Your body; your decision.’ That’s what all the pamphlets say.

Marketing precision omits the desolate sadness you will bleed

For weeks, uterine lining sheds unfettered by human growth each day.

I tell you “It is done.” When I mean to say, “Forgive me, for our baby is dead.”

So, forgive me.

Today I ask forgive the blood I bled.

Bleeding hearts beat endlessly.


Tears flow as rivers of blood bleed
Through the last breaths
Of my broken Heart
A heart, stricken with grief
Without an ability to weep
If only for a single heartbeat.

Anger seems the only choice;
A certain serenity, within the certainty of Rage
For my Incapability, rejoice He who sees
Simplicity, sacraments, and poise
In my delicate condition, Please.
Peace, we find, in this constant rhythm
Of my bleeding heart
Beating endlessly
As forgiveness flows
From a fountain of youthful dreams
And habitual tendencies as
We sit and weep
Holding in our patient tears
For the blood I bled
Which now, engulfs me and mine
Whilst waiting for this feeling of dread
To pass with time, however
a lifetime we’ll spend, bleeding.

Because bleeding hearts beat endlessly.
Twice now, our future insecure
Forgive me, mine. Forgive me for
This bleeding broken heart, hopelessly beating and torn.
Endlessly beating, forever more.